When he was a boy, he ran every race in the Olympics (with no shoes and an orange slice to eat between events). He used to sprint to school in Edinburgh (even though he lived in London). And to relax he’d tie bully-beef to his belt and go for a jog in the forest (because there were wolves in them forests in those days). Just wind him and watch him go, beating slackers from his path with his cane. And if you really listen carefully, you can even hear him complaining about the cracks in the pavement and how the council’s run by a bunch young whippersnappers who could all do with a spell in the army.